Professor Hobo

The campus comes to a standstill when the latest celebrity scandal grabs everyone’s attention.  Originally started as a comic, the idea soon became too unwieldy for the printed page.  Right before dropping it entirely we wondered if it might work best as an animation, and so here it is.

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When I was a kid we had detached garage that had at one point been a barn.  In other words, it was quite large.  Feral cats would move into it to birth kittens, and then we’d be stuck with not only feral cats, but feral kittens.  My mom was big on trying to tame the kittens, so we’d take a saucer out to the garage and fill it with milk.  The kittens would eventually creep out to it, and with time they wouldn’t even mind if you sat nearby watching them.  That’s how we tamed cats—with a trap.

I mention this, because I’m starting to think my wife views me as nothing more than a big blonde kitten.  Part of my suspicion stems from the saucer of milk I find bedside every morning, but a bigger part comes from the questions she poses casually to me.  Here’s a hint—they’re traps.  We all know the standard line that a wife asks her husband if a certain dress makes her look fat, but all but the dumbest of us see right through that one.  Look, even if the dress has a pattern of a school bus on it, we’re not saying anything. ↓ Read the rest of this entry…

I love my home state of Kentucky, but I can’t say I’m surprised to discover it tops an index for unhealthiest behavior.  I’m not exactly sure what they mean by unhealthy behavior, but I have a few guesses.

People in Kentucky love to run around in the woods with guns.  They often do this early in the morning at or just before dawn.  This doesn’t strike me as particularly healthy behavior.

Tobacco is a huge cash crop in Kentucky, and part of harvesting it requires one to fire cure or “smoke” it.  This basically means that each fall the air of Kentucky is clogged with the aroma of burning tobacco.  Assuming the whole uproar over secondhand smoke isn’t just some conspiracy propagated by Anheuser-Busch to get us to drink more instead of smoking, I’d say it classifies as an unhealthy behavior. ↓ Read the rest of this entry…

Wasn’t it great when Taylor Swift had a pitchy performance on the Grammys?  That’ll show that young woman not to write her own music and connect with millions of fans.  Jerk.

It might surprise you to hear that I detest snarkiness.  My wife and I currently subscribe to four magazines—The New Yorker, The Week, ESPN the Magazine, and Entertainment Weekly.  Of those, only Entertainment Weekly routinely lowers itself into the cesspool of snark.  There’s a weekly column grading the dresses celebrities wear to events, with comments along the lines of, “Her bust line was as low as her acting ability.”  Zing!  You win this round, Entertainment Weekly.  Dame Judi Dench will not soon recover from that burn. ↓ Read the rest of this entry…

What qualifies as normal is one of the great mysteries of life.  Everyone has little quirks that they’re just not that sure of.  For example, do other men shave first before showering?  I do, but if everyone else doesn’t I suppose it makes me abnormal.

The reflex is to shout, “There is no normal!”  You know who says this?  Weird people, and those suffering from Tourettes.  Obviously there is weird and normal, or else you’d never nudge your friend and with a nod say, “Check out what that weirdo is wearing.”  It’s called a bolo tie, and you’re going to be so sorry when they come back into style. ↓ Read the rest of this entry…