The pursuit of illegal fireworks has always amused me. Nearly every state has fireworks stores right on the border with another state. The idea being that one state allows sales of fireworks that the other doesn’t. But how can this be? Shouldn’t there be one state that doesn’t care if your kid blows his arm off, but all the others are fairly prudish about explosives? It’s like every state has some unique explosive that only they’re allowed to sell. I would hate to be the state that got snakes.
MITTENS: We didn't.
KLOWNUS: We just slapped a sombrero on top of some bottle rockets and called it a day.
HOBO: No one's stupid enough to fall for that.
PROTESTOR: These Roman candles are taking jobs from hardworking American fireworks!