People love to complain about Valentineâ€™s Day up until the point that they have a significant other, and then they simply complain about having to shop for Valentineâ€™s Day.Â Personally, I prefer to use it as a way to judge my wifeâ€™s expectations.Â If I buy her half a dozen roses and she gets upset because she expected a full dozen?Â Well, her expectations are just too high and the next year will be used to bring them more into line.
I fully expect to be single by next Valentineâ€™s Day.
CLERK: Are you sure you don't want to pick up any of our "I've Got A Secret" panties? They're 3 for $30.
JIMMY: No, that's all.
CLERK: Would you like to sign up for our credit card?
CLERK: Are you sure? You get free panties every month.
JIMMY: Yeah, I'm sure. I don't need it.
CLERK: It could save you a lot of money. There's all kinds of coupons with it!
JIMMY: No, please just let us check out.
CLERK: Wow, apparently you're our one millionth customer! Smile!