The Rat


It’s such a disappointment when you grow up and realize real people are behind cartoon characters you adored as a child. Santa at the mall? Mickey Mouse at Disney World? Most of the actors I think are probably swell people, but at least a few are more like the film Bad Santa.

↓ Transcript
HOBO: What's wrong with your niece?
BEARD: I took her to Chuck E. Cheese for lunch.

HOBO: I thought kids loved that place?
BEARD: She did, until I told her the guy dressed as the rat was a 39-year-old meth addict, with two child support draws on his paycheck, and who would be legally prohibited 200 yards from the place if not in that disguise.

HOBO: Talk about paradise lost.
BEARD: I think Milton would be proud.


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