Pay Raise
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Pay Raise

There are three things in this world that nobody has hard evidence for:  God, why Ryan Seacrest is a star, and the logic used for pay raises.  The first I will take on faith, and the second I will accept as the burden I pay for the gift of free will.  But the third?  Well, I accept it as well because who complains when getting a raise?

Why is President Czar so angry at “Churchies?”  We’ll probably get letters about that one.

↓ Transcript
CZAR: I've been informed that we need to set wage increases for the new fiscal year. We have staff, faculty, and administration. Any suggestions?

BROCCOLI: Should we consult cost of living increases?
CZAR: That seems like more effort than I'm aware of any person being able to make.

BROCCOLI: Alright then, how about 1% for staff, 3% for faculty, and 39% for administration?
CZAR: Whoa, whoa, whoa! 1%? What are we, churchies at Easter?