Shopgirl
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Shopgirl

People love to complain about Valentine’s Day up until the point that they have a significant other, and then they simply complain about having to shop for Valentine’s Day.  Personally, I prefer to use it as a way to judge my wife’s expectations.  If I buy her half a dozen roses and she gets upset because she expected a full dozen?  Well, her expectations are just too high and the next year will be used to bring them more into line.

I fully expect to be single by next Valentine’s Day.

↓ Transcript
CLERK: Will this be all today?
JIMMY: Yep.

CLERK: Are you sure you don't want to pick up any of our "I've Got A Secret" panties? They're 3 for $30.
JIMMY: No, that's all.

CLERK: Would you like to sign up for our credit card?
JIMMY: No.

CLERK: Are you sure? You get free panties every month.
JIMMY: Yeah, I'm sure. I don't need it.

CLERK: It could save you a lot of money. There's all kinds of coupons with it!
JIMMY: No, please just let us check out.

CLERK: Wow, apparently you're our one millionth customer! Smile!