Students will try almost any excuse to get out of work. Often their excuses prove their true intellect, and make you kind of sad they don’t put the same effort into their actual work. But when all else fails, they always fall back to pink eye.
TREY: There's no freedom in a novel. It's by far the most oppressive experience of my life reading a book. I'm not a Calvinist and I do not believe in predestination--for myself or imaginary characters!
HOBO: Regardless of your existential crisis, you still have to do the reading.
TREY: Fine, then I have pink eye.