The campus comes to a standstill when the latest celebrity scandal grabs everyone’s attention. Originally started as a comic, the idea soon became too unwieldy for the printed page. Right before dropping it entirely we wondered if it might work best as an animation, and so here it is.
When I was a kid we had detached garage that had at one point been a barn. In other words, it was quite large. Feral cats would move into it to birth kittens, and then we’d be stuck with not only feral cats, but feral kittens. My mom was big on trying to tame the kittens, so we’d take a saucer out to the garage and fill it with milk. The kittens would eventually creep out to it, and with time they wouldn’t even mind if you sat nearby watching them. That’s how we tamed cats—with a trap.
I mention this, because I’m starting to think my wife views me as nothing more than a big blonde kitten. Part of my suspicion stems from the saucer of milk I find bedside every morning, but a bigger part comes from the questions she poses casually to me. Here’s a hint—they’re traps. We all know the standard line that a wife asks her husband if a certain dress makes her look fat, but all but the dumbest of us see right through that one. Look, even if the dress has a pattern of a school bus on it, we’re not saying anything. ↓ Read the rest of this entry…
I love my home state of Kentucky, but I can’t say I’m surprised to discover it tops an index for unhealthiest behavior. I’m not exactly sure what they mean by unhealthy behavior, but I have a few guesses.
People in Kentucky love to run around in the woods with guns. They often do this early in the morning at or just before dawn. This doesn’t strike me as particularly healthy behavior.
Tobacco is a huge cash crop in Kentucky, and part of harvesting it requires one to fire cure or “smoke” it. This basically means that each fall the air of Kentucky is clogged with the aroma of burning tobacco. Assuming the whole uproar over secondhand smoke isn’t just some conspiracy propagated by Anheuser-Busch to get us to drink more instead of smoking, I’d say it classifies as an unhealthy behavior. ↓ Read the rest of this entry…
Wasn’t it great when Taylor Swift had a pitchy performance on the Grammys? That’ll show that young woman not to write her own music and connect with millions of fans. Jerk.
It might surprise you to hear that I detest snarkiness. My wife and I currently subscribe to four magazines—The New Yorker, The Week, ESPN the Magazine, and Entertainment Weekly. Of those, only Entertainment Weekly routinely lowers itself into the cesspool of snark. There’s a weekly column grading the dresses celebrities wear to events, with comments along the lines of, “Her bust line was as low as her acting ability.” Zing! You win this round, Entertainment Weekly. Dame Judi Dench will not soon recover from that burn.
If you’re still unsure on exactly what snark is, it’s basically the sarcastic, bitter tone many people in the media have adopted. It’s what makes people tune in to Limbaugh or Olbermann. It’s what allows a site such as TMZ to not only flourish, but produce a television version, as well. It’s close cousins with nihilism and apathy. Basically, it’s personal sadness projected as “clever” critiques.
You might wonder how someone could be critical of snark while maintaining a blog and comic strip, and I admit it’s an ink well at times that’s tempting to dip into. I prefer to think Professor Hobo airs on the side of satire, instead. I’m not particularly a huge fan of Kanye West, so in turn I ignore him the best I can. To illuminate him with “biting” comments seems as rude and out of place as his interruption of Taylor Swift’s award speech.
My mind was on this today because I saw a headline touting the backlash against Swift. Her Grammy performance was apparently pitchy, and her performance in the new film Valentine’s Day isn’t winning many critics as fans. There’s a certain joy I read from those making these critiques that I don’t fully understand from anyone over the age of 18. I question if maybe I’m just getting too old for this kind of stuff, or just too interesting? Oops.
What qualifies as normal is one of the great mysteries of life. Everyone has little quirks that they’re just not that sure of. For example, do other men shave first before showering? I do, but if everyone else doesn’t I suppose it makes me abnormal.
The reflex is to shout, “There is no normal!” You know who says this? Weird people, and those suffering from Tourettes. Obviously there is weird and normal, or else you’d never nudge your friend and with a nod say, “Check out what that weirdo is wearing.” It’s called a bolo tie, and you’re going to be so sorry when they come back into style.
Anyway, I was thinking a cool web site would be one where everyone vents the things they think they might be weird about, just to see if someone else does it. Worried that it’s weird that your morning shower takes an hour? Post it and see how long everyone else takes.
I see two problems with this site. One, this is basically what Facebook already does. And two, what are the ramifications from finding out you truly are odd? I remember a friend in college being horrified to learn no one else put on as much deodorant as she did. That, of course, is minor, but what if you found out that everyone else thinks Lady Gaga looks like a man and this whole time you’ve had a crush?
So, how about you? What’s something you’re not so sure about?
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