Better without sleep than with, but not smarter

I long ago gave up on the delusion that anything about me was remotely unique. Instead, I cast this out there as a sort of digital fishing line to find like-bodied individuals. Do you ever find yourself being better when you’ve had no sleep? Last night I got basically no sleep. Today I taught three classes and had one faculty ... Read More »

Car shopping as a measure of intelligence

I bought a car this past weekend. Actually, my wife and I bought a car this past weekend. But since I rarely drive (except slow on the driveway every Saturday), it is mostly a purchase for her. The process of buying a car is equivalent to having root canal work done on the back of a camel while riding through ... Read More »

Cartoon cats are the last minstrel acts

Ever noticed when watching old cartoons that a good half of them are about the speech impediments of animals? I’ve got to be honest, I’d be impressed if my cat could talk period, regardless if it could roll its Rs properly. Perhaps my standards are too low. If it were something more valid, like perhaps an incontinent cat, then I ... Read More »

Clash of truth in advertising

Today marked the release of the first trailer for the Clash of the Titans remake. Yes, you read that right. We’re remaking films from the 1980s now. It won’t be long before we see remakes before a film is released on DVD. What’s most interesting to me is the apparent tagline of the film, “Titans will clash.” Really? In a ... Read More »

How to email a professor and live to tell the tale

If you’re a freshman in college, one of the most valuable lessons you can learn is how to properly make contact with a professor. This is especially important if you don’t want to find yourself the butt of departmental meetings where professors pass around particularly atrocious emails. With this in mind, I humbly present the following tips. 1. Do not ... Read More »

When not mashing, what do monsters do

During the recent Halloween holiday I watched the documentary His Name Was Jason. It’s basically a look back at the thirty year history of the Friday the 13th film franchise. While entertaining, my mind ended up mostly debating, what does Jason do with all of his free time? Watch any of the films and you’ll notice that Jason does very ... Read More »

It’s the great hedonistic holiday, Charlie Brown

I for one am sick of Halloween. For years I’ve bitten my tongue on this subject, and in the process severely damaged it and possibly made myself anemic. So while I can’t speak out against Halloween, I can certainly write out against it. Halloween today centers around young children playing dress up as imaginary characters and trolling around their neighborhoods ... Read More »

Burying the hatchet in someone

In life we’re allowed and even encouraged to speculate about many things. What job will I get? Who will I marry? How would I murder someone? Not so fast, Norman. With Halloween rapidly approaching, I’m reminded of the fact that I’ve never murdered someone. This raises all kinds of issues, so let’s address them. First, this is exactly the kind ... Read More »

You’re reading something worse than Hitler

You should avert your eyes. Oh really, you’re not going to? What are you, some Hitler fan? Because you’re worse than him if you’re reading this. My brother-in-law and his friends had a rule in college that the argument had been lost as soon as someone mentioned Hitler. As in, if you think the Red Sox have a chance in ... Read More »

Foxes in space

People love reality shows. Years after this fad was supposed to go away it’s still here. People want health care reform. Even those against Obama’s current plan agree that something needs to be done (insurance regulation, tort reform, etc.). Can’t we combine these two passions? It’s already been pitched once. A Dutch broadcaster planned a reality series in which a ... Read More »