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Driving to Class

Wake up. Walk out of dorm and find car in parking lot. Drive around campus to entrance nearest building. Find parking spot. Walk to class. Or simply walk to class. Nine times out of ten the latter option is not only healthier, but faster. ↓ TranscriptMEGAN: Did you drive to class? BILLY: Yep! Breaking all the rules. MEGAN: But why? ... Read More »

The Clock Billionaire

People make money from all kinds of stupid things. Some people assume everything is a conspiracy. I prefer to think the two are related, and people are conspiring to cause all the stupid things in my life–in order to make money. It makes stubbing my toe more rational. ↓ TranscriptBILLY: Ugh, power out overnight. All the clocks are wrong! JIMMY: ... Read More »

Internet Grants All Knowledge

The Internet is an awesome tool to learn. Unfortunately, I don’t think most people ever use it for that. They use it for stupid reasons. Like reading comics. ↓ TranscriptBILLY: Professors, all my teachers tell me to spend less time online! HOBO: So? BILLY: I learn more from the Internet than I ever do in class. BEARD: Such as? BILLY: ... Read More »

Bra Engineering

Smart people eventually figure out the path of least resistance. I think Trey and Billy are on their way. ↓ TranscriptBILLY: We've been working for months, but we finally finished our app that tells women if they're wearing the right size bra! TREY: We just need you to life your shirt so I scan you. AMANDA: I'm not that stupid! ... Read More »

Cheap Website Hits

I love that Billy and Trey are learning the real lessons of the Internet and not something silly like quality content. Who needs that? Obviously not this site. ↓ TranscriptSCIENCE: And what are you doing for your website? TREY: I'm making a website of lists without any actual real content. Basically I just want cheap hits. BILLY: "10 Words People ... Read More »

Arrested Disappointment

In all actuality, we’re incredibly excited for the new season of Arrested Development. Still, after all this time and hype, it can’t help but disappoint a certain segment of its fans no matter how good it turns out. Let’s just hope we’re not back here Monday saying they completely “blue” it. ↓ TranscriptRICK: I am so pumped about the new ... Read More »

Ban Violent Video Games

I keep waiting for the reports of massive deaths caused by Katamari Damacy. I haven’t heard of anyone rolling up victims into a giant ball, but you know it must be coming. Stupid video games. ↓ TranscriptMOM: We need to ban these violent video games! BILLY: What do you want to ban? BILLY: Do you want to ban games featuring ... Read More »

Optimist’s Guide to Dating

I suppose this isn’t an entirely unhealthy response to rejection, assuming one isn’t living in total denial. And in this case, Trey is definitely in denial. ↓ TranscriptTREY: I'd like to have sex with you. MEGAN: Um, no. But we can be friends. TREY: I'll take it! TREY: That other girl said no one would ever want to be friends ... Read More »

Sports Engineering

I think in store they probably get mad if you try to play this game. They can’t stifle American creativity..using British products, forever. Though using a Dyson fan like this would somewhat resemble Quidditch, which is again a British invention. ↓ TranscriptRICK: Dude, my grandparents just sent me $200 for my birthday! I should do something responsible with it, like ... Read More »


Anyone who has ever tried to teach a parent new technology can relate. That is, if you could even get them as far as depicted in this strip. ↓ TranscriptBILLY: What are you doing on the phone and Skype at the same time? JIMMY: My mom wanted to try Skype, but she didn't understand it. JIMMY: So I called her ... Read More »