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Optimist’s Guide to Dating

I suppose this isn’t an entirely unhealthy response to rejection, assuming one isn’t living in total denial. And in this case, Trey is definitely in denial. ↓ TranscriptTREY: I'd like to have sex with you. MEGAN: Um, no. But we can be friends. TREY: I'll take it! TREY: That other girl said no one would ever want to be friends ... Read More »

The Time Traveling Dater

Of course, there are worse outcomes to dating while time traveling. You could be like Fry on Futurama and become your own grandfather. I think that was how it went, at least (I assume the Internet will quickly correct me in the comments below if wrong). Still, as a way of thinking positively, I like the time travel outlook. ↓ ... Read More »

Common Courtesy of Dating

I never found much humor in people actually using lines and trying to be smooth. I find it much funnier when they simply abandon all hope of trying and try some sort of desperate hail Mary pass. You have to admire that. ↓ TranscriptBILLY: Hey Victoria! Want to have sex, please? VICTORIA: You really think a please will get me ... Read More »

I Dreamed A Dream Erotic

I think a good visualization exercise for desperate single people is to imagine that suddenly you’re the opposite sex. Now, would you sleep with you? No? Then that may explain some of your dating draught. It might also be a good lesson that you’re setting your sights too high. Maybe you should settle. Maybe you should settle–for you. And no, ... Read More »

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Ending a relationship never really goes the way people hope. There’s usually some buildup and anticipation, and then there’s reality. This dissonance would make for a wonderful reality series. ↓ TranscriptBILLY: Carla, I think we should see other people. I know you may... CARLA: Okay. Sounds good. CARLA: It really wasn't headed anywhere. BILLY: No, this is not how I ... Read More »

Escape the Friend Zone

I should note that this strip is purely fantasy. Everyone knows there is no real way to escape the friend zone. ↓ TranscriptTREY: Lincoln, you've got to help me escape the Friend Zone! LINCOLN: The only way to do that is to change the mind of the person who sent you here. TREY: How do I do that? LINCOLN: Usually ... Read More »

Gay Lincoln

No, this is not a strip bashing Lincoln for being gay. I have no idea if he was or not (there are apparently some historians who believe so, or at least making money peddling theories). The ultimate “friend zoning” would be this relationship, but is in no way encouraging violence against gay people. It’s a joke. This disclaimer is placed ... Read More »

The Friend Zone

Every person dreads being banished to the Friend Zone. What’s funny to me is the moment of realization when it suddenly dawns on you that’s where you’re headed. I can imagine an entire Seinfeld episode on trying to prevent that placement. They would do something very clever. We, on the other hand, used portals. You’re supposed to laugh at the ... Read More »

Poor Dating Habits

Guys love to pile on the complaints of women only dating bad boys. Of course, most men only judge women by exterior appearances. Point? Both sexes are shallow and largely responsible for their own dating problems. Still, it makes for great explanations on why everyone else’s dating philosophy is so wrong. ↓ TranscriptMEGAN: Axle never returns my calls. Rod never ... Read More »

How Not to Win Dates

I always love the dating stalk. No, not the person who stalks someone they’ve dated, but the person who stalks someone who is dating someone else while hoping for them to break up. I can’t imagine anything less attractive, yet you hear about people doing it on a fairly regular basis. Maybe it’s more successful than I realize? ↓ TranscriptTREY: ... Read More »