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Tag Archives: Dr. Klownu

The Tyranny of Operating Systems

College campuses are full of smug offs. Remember kids, nobody wins in a smug off. Even the “winner” just ends up looking smug. ↓ TranscriptKLOWNUS: I installed Linux on your computer while you were out. You can thank me later. FEMALE: Why would I thank you? KLOWNUS: Because you no longer know the tyranny of an operating system that isn't ... Read More »

Engage the Students

Most professors genuinely want to be good teachers. Many, however, have no idea what abstract phrases like “engage the student” mean. This is basically how most of those meetings end up. ↓ TranscriptCZAR: How can we better engage students? KLOWNUS: I prefer a long bow. BEARD: What century is this? Get a gun! CZAR: This is the wrong kind of ... Read More »

Growth Industry

I suppose it makes sense why people would believe the statement that we only use 10% of our brains. It sounds fantastic, doesn’t it? If I’m only using 10% now and am able to mostly manage my life, imagine what I could do with another 90%? Actually, I know what I would do. I would devote it to trying to ... Read More »


In case you’re wondering, USCIS stands for U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services. I’m sure you didn’t know this, just as I didn’t. I still thought the department was called INS. If someone burst in and shouted this at me I would be clueless what I was being busted for. ↓ TranscriptUSCIS 1: Put down the illegal fireworks! This is a ... Read More »

Illegal Fireworks

The pursuit of illegal fireworks has always amused me. Nearly every state has fireworks stores right on the border with another state. The idea being that one state allows sales of fireworks that the other doesn’t. But how can this be? Shouldn’t there be one state that doesn’t care if your kid blows his arm off, but all the others ... Read More »

The Trouble with Lemurs

Women tend to be big fans of animals, until they start eating one another. I don’t blame them for this, as the animals I eat I don’t want to consider all the animals they ate and the animals their food ate, etc. It’s like an HIV ad for vegans. ↓ TranscriptKLOWNUS: Chicks dig animals, so I took them to the ... Read More »

Quantum Realities

If you’re desperate enough in academia, there’s always a way to get something published. Sure, there’s outright cheating through a vanity press. However, many overlook the tried and true method of writing something that sounds academic, but is so vague that no one understands exactly what it means. Everyone is too embarrassed to admit they don’t know, so it goes ... Read More »

Academy Awards Party

I like it when people take ideas to their logical conclusions. Someone is going to have a themed Academy Awards party? Where does that end? I’m not really sure many people have parties to watch the Oscars, but I’m sure someone has at some point. ↓ TranscriptKLOWNUS: I hope you'll make it to my Academy Awards party this weekend! HOBO: ... Read More »

Almost Got ‘Im

Like many young people, I was always kind of annoyed with the Road Runner and secretly hoped that the Coyote might catch him someday. The other two were more demented desires, but after all, this is Halloween. ↓ TranscriptKLOWNUS: What are you supposed to be? RICK: I'm the coyote, if he ever caught the roadrunner. JIMMY: I'm Hobbes, if he ... Read More »

Copy Control

Every educational institution is always complaining about the copy budget. I suspect one day this is what it will come to, if it hasn’t yet somewhere. Dr. Klownus is looking awful dainty. ↓ TranscriptCZAR: Our copy budget is out of control. BEARD: We have to make copies to teach. BEARD: Faculty will not stop making copies. CZAR: Really? Even if ... Read More »