Posts Tagged ‘Jimmy’

68 results.

Kryptonite Crosses and Unicorn Tears

by Justin on January 23, 2012 at 12:00 am
Kryptonite Crosses and Unicorn Tears

At this point, I’m not even sure people care who gets the Republican nomination for President. I think a large majority of people are just being entertained by the best series on television this year. You have plot twists with Herman Cain, and emotional breakdowns with Rick Perry. You have the straight man in Mitt Romney, and the crazy uncle in Newt Gingrich. Or maybe that’s Ron Paul?

Regardless of plot developments, I think both Democrats and Republicans are so entertained they hate to see all this end.

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Santa Versus Mario

by Justin on December 14, 2011 at 12:00 am
Santa Versus Mario

Some child waking Christmas morning to find Santa dead from head trauma might just be the most horrible moment for the rest of their lives. Remember that scene in Gremlins where Phoebe Cates describes finding Santa dead in her chimney? It scarred an entire generation just hearing that story. For shame, Super Mario.

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First Snow

by Justin on November 30, 2011 at 12:00 am
First Snow

This is a pretty disgusting joke, but that’s okay. We only do truly disgusting jokes rarely.

Meanwhile, it isn’t the first snow but the first substantial one here for the season. People seem to go crazy about snow. Either they run to the store to stock up like it’s the apocalypse, or they enter some sort of bizarre trance-like state of pure euphoria about the coming cold.

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Interstate Highway System

by Justin on November 28, 2011 at 12:00 am
Interstate Highway System

People behave crazily on the highway. I’m sure this comes as no shock to most people, but driving over the holidays can prove to be a rude awakening to those who have forgotten. I understand nobody wants to be stuck behind someone in the left lane that is riding their brake, but some people seem to be confused and believe they’re in a real-life game of Mario Kart. I keep expecting someone to throw turtle shells from their car window.

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Black Friday 3

by Justin on November 25, 2011 at 12:00 am
Black Friday 3

People are always real defensive over horror films until they start seriously talking about them. Then suddenly, with the reality of the countless sequels in their face, they cave. The truth is, as Scream put it, most horror sequels suck. This is no revelation to most of you, yet somehow the countless sequels still prove profitable.

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Why We Eat Turkey

by Justin on November 23, 2011 at 12:00 am
Why We Eat Turkey

I actually have little idea where the giant, gelatinous log of cranberry sauce comes from each year. Yet, every Thanksgiving there it is. One of life’s grand mysteries.

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Treat and Trick

by Justin on October 31, 2011 at 12:00 am
Treat and Trick

This comic may seem crueler to our female readers, but remember this is Mr. Mittens. He has no real conscience in the traditional sense. He is remorseless. He is a cat.

By the way, since it is Halloween, I think parents that don’t let their kids indulge themselves in candy this one night a year are a little wonky. Look, don’t let little Cindy or Billy eat chocolate for breakfast every morning of the year, but a little sugar one night a year isn’t likely to make them any slower, dumber, or fatter.

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Occupy Wall Street

by Justin on October 3, 2011 at 12:00 am
Occupy Wall Street

This is how I often feel with students. I know they’re not entirely listening at any given moment, but what surprises me is that they’re not listening to people other than me. So something like Occupy Wall Street doesn’t even register when I say it because they’ve heard it somewhere else before. At least I don’t personally feel as bad.

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Enjoy Your Pizza

by Justin on September 30, 2011 at 12:00 am
Enjoy Your Pizza

There’s always an inclination to return whatever kind words someone says to you. It’s like a game of friendly hot potato. This is especially awkward when dealing with the service industry. Enjoy your dinner? You too! Thanks for coming? You too. I got your septic tank unclogged? You too!

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Define Symbolism

by Justin on August 29, 2011 at 12:00 am
Define Symbolism

Defining literary terms is always easier using pop culture examples. THe problem is that sometimes students have trouble focussing on the actual example, and get caught up in the fact that it’s a reference to Harry Potter. On second thought, perhaps it isn’t easier, but I perceive it as so because I’d love any shortcut.

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