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Tag Archives: Mr. Mittens

Sickeningly Adorable

I suspect dogs think something similar, but are simply too insecure to act on it. ↓ TranscriptHOBO: Why do cats lie on their backs if they're just going to attack us when we rub their bellies? MITTENS: To lull you into a false sense of security. HOBO: How is that at all practical in the wild? MITTENS: Have you seen ... Read More »

Better Email App

While I have a smartphone, I imagine this must be how everyone without one feels constantly. Just shut up about it. I don’t even want to hear about someone’s new phone. ↓ TranscriptKLOWNUS: Ugh, every time I check my email the app crashes. MITTENS: Here, let me fix that for you. KLOWNUS: That doesn't fix anything! MITTENS: Sure it does! ... Read More »

Fitbit

In truth, you probably wouldn’t get that interesting of results from slapping a Fitbit on a cat. It might run around for a while, but cats mostly sleep for their day. A dog on the other hand…. ↓ TranscriptAMANDA: My new Fitbit came in the mail! MEGAN: What's that? AMANDA: It's a fancy, expensive pedometer that harasses you to get ... Read More »

Dave Ramsey’s Restaurant

I think a Dave Ramsey chain of restaurants might actually catch on. Tell people they can only eat what they can afford, and constantly lay the guilt on them about it. Might be financially and health responsible. ↓ TranscriptKLOWNUS: Peanut butter sandwiches? Only water to drink? I thought we were going somewhere nice. MITTENS: What gave you that impression? KLOWNUS: ... Read More »

The Secret to Facebook

I’ll never understand how Alf faded away as a cultural icon. Why isn’t he seeing a resurgence of popularity like the Muppets? Sure, he isn’t nearly as funny, but…oh, well, never mind. Got it. ↓ TranscriptHOBO: I've been posting pictures of you to Facebook, but nobody ever likes them. I thought the Internet loved cats! MITTENS: Try taking a picture ... Read More »

The Art of War Bathing

I always love it when people start quoting Sun Tzu to me as management techniques. I think these people spend way too much time worrying about leading rather than actual leading. ↓ TranscriptHOBO: Why do cats do that? You'll just stop and clean your most intimate of spots inches from my face! MITTENS: Think about it. What would it take ... Read More »

Political Heroics

The media loves to give a name to everything and then overuse those names. Every battle in Congress suddenly becomes an event. This used to be true with CNN and major events like wars. They’d even have their own theme music. Now it’s everything from school shooting to budget battles. There’s something quite unsettling about everything being treated as a ... Read More »

Out of Food

I’ve never had a cat who didn’t pull this stunt. Often they’ll do it even with their bowl half full. I’m not entirely sure why, except that I think cats and squirrels (who store away nuts) share some DNA in common. ↓ TranscriptMITTENS: Oh my God, this is a disaster! The end is nigh! I'll never make it! HOBO: What's ... Read More »

Christmas Comes Too Early

Every year Christmas comes a little bit earlier, and it seems to be with a little more force each year. I suspect by the time my nephews are grown it will start in July. ↓ TranscriptHOBO: No, I am not putting up the Christmas decorations! I haven't even finished my leftovers! HOBO: Umm, did Walmart send you? Read More »

Stupidest Creature On Earth

Man often does feel like the stupidest creature on earth, but I wonder what it really is? I mean, I’m sure someone can tell me what animal has the smallest brain or the simplest one, but size being relative, I wonder which animal people just can’t believe manages to survive given its intellect? I bet humans rank pretty high up ... Read More »