What is our fascination with food sizes? Everything is always bragging that it’s either bigger than the norm, or smaller. Sliders are even worse as an option because they’re essentially the same amount of food, just redistributed through smaller portions.
I’ve known people who do weird stuff with their food. I would not be surprised to see someone with scissors doing delicate work on some French fries.
Yes, it is sort of trite to complain about wait staff at restaurants.  Lord knows they take enough flack from rude customers.  But we’re trite people, if you hadn’t noticed from reading this comic.
This is somewhat inspired by a recent New York Times piece giving fifty directives to waiters. Â That in turn reminded me of several personal incidents where I couldn’t get a waiter to shut up long enough to listen to me order. Â And you, dear reader, are all the richer for it.
I like horribly corny, old jokes. Â I miss the days when people told jokes that began with setups and didn’t pay off with random Tourette symptoms. Â There’s something incredibly charming when someone starts to tell a joke like this because either they haven’t been paying attention for the past forty years, or they simply don’t care. Â That’s chutzpah, as the rabbi of the joke might say.
See, these things write themselves.
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