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Tag Archives: Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day Date Search

Sometimes people will dismiss someone as completely undateable. I figure nobody is undateable. There’s just a quality about them that needs to be adjusted. For example, maybe they need to put on a little weight. Or lose a little. Maybe they need to get rich. Or die trying. Maybe they need to be better looking. That usually helps. ↓ TranscriptCLERK: ... Read More »

Domino Theory of Valentine’s Day

Of course, there’s nothing really funny about someone’s life spiraling out of control simply because of one day, but it is funny how much pressure we put on a single day. I’ve known people who would be depressed for a week about Valentine’s Day seeing it as some huge symbol of their failure in life up until that point, and ... Read More »

The nerd’s guide to Valentine’s Day

The following article is meant solely for entertainment purposes. We do not offer any sort of guarantee along with the advice provided. Use at your own risk. And by risk, we mean getting slapped or having the cops called on you. Both seem likely. Step 1: Getting the girl Where are all the girls? Look, it isn’t that girls don’t ... Read More »

My Funny Valentine

For some people, it truly is the thought that counts. For others, it’s the thought that went into the thought. Happy Valentine’s Day. ↓ TranscriptJIMMY: I'm sorry Amanda, but I feel like kind of a screw up on Valentine's Day. AMANDA: Why? JIMMY: I wanted to paint you a picture in the stars, but I used a weak adhesive and ... Read More »

Comma Splices

I like the idea of turning fun holidays into learning exercises. I like it even more when those exercises are equally cruel to student and teacher. ↓ TranscriptHOBO: You gave valentines to your students? BEARD: Sort of. CARD: Roses are red. Violets are blue. Do not make comma splices, I'll kill you. HOBO: They didn't get it? BEARD: Broke my ... Read More »

Dental Floss

I’m always amazed by what companies are able to market and actually sell as “sexy.” Obvious thing like clothing are sold in this manner, but also more peculiar products like shampoo. It must work. ↓ TranscriptAMANDA: Thanks for going lingerie shopping with me. I want something nice to wear for Jimmy on Valentine's Day. MEGAN: What about some dental floss? ... Read More »

Shopgirl

People love to complain about Valentine’s Day up until the point that they have a significant other, and then they simply complain about having to shop for Valentine’s Day.  Personally, I prefer to use it as a way to judge my wife’s expectations.  If I buy her half a dozen roses and she gets upset because she expected a full ... Read More »

Watch the Skies

People of small stature are a group you’re never quite sure what to call.  You don’t want to use midget or dwarf, because you’re really not sure of what the technical differences are.  You don’t want to say little person either, because somehow it seems wrong.  Probably best to fall back on what we all do when we don’t know ... Read More »